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Kristine

[ website | d_i_s_k_o_b_o_x ]
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[29 Jan 2002|08:50pm]
[ mood | tired ]

owwwww, my arm hurts. And I'm tired or working on my stupid outline....aaaaaarrrrgghhhh.... and when I'm done with that, I have to come up with a logo for myself for speech.....god....how laaaaaame!! Damned class...I really wish I didn't have to take it. But I have to take it now, because I want to do drama next year. Mrah.

Grandma took the skirt home with her to finish the hem, and I've been sewing around where the grommets are going to be put in the bodice. I'm going to finish that and put the grommets in tomorrow. Hot damn.

You know what? Shit. I don't think I'm sewing close enough to where the holes for the grommets are going to be. That means I have to go back and redo sixteen grommet reenforcements. Fuuuuuuuuuck. And I was going to go to bed early tonight!!!

On the up side, Rachel and I had a wonderful time at the Mall of America yesterday. ;-) Saw Pia, which was super nice, and did a lot of shopping and spending of, um, ALL my moolah. Oh well. That was the school clothes shopping I meant to do during September. :-)

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[27 Jan 2002|08:50am]
[ mood | busy ]

Project for today - duct tape waist cincher.
Materials needed - more duct tape, boning, vinyl if I have time for it, cord some sort of edging...vinyl, maybe?
Things to do before cincher - drop off "Blow" at Blockbuster, church [obviously, or I wouldn't be up this early], fix the waistband of black skirt, decide if I want the cincher to lace up in front or in back.

The last thing I have to do is decide which dead ballerina skirt I wear tomorrow-- red or black?

::grumbles:: I wish I had shiny boots. Maybe that's what I'll have to get tomorrow.....mmm....shiny boots.....buckles..........

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[26 Jan 2002|11:27pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

going to bed.....at least then I can lie on my back and hopefully let these knots and kinks work themselves out to their normal state of agonizing pain.

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[26 Jan 2002|10:36pm]
[ mood | in great physical pain ]

owwwww....my neck, shoulders, and back are never ever going to bend again. Ten fucking hours sewing today....TEN!! I started out working on Hannah's bag, but I didn't have the satin cord for the closure, so I started making a skirt to wear to the Mall of America on Monday. Stopped briefly to get mom to take me to Jo Ann and Sally-- needed ribbon, satin cord, and hair dye. Came back, continued sewing. I now have a gorgeous red tulle skirt with black ribbon trim and supershort lining. Very amazing. It deserves shiny boots. With buckles. I don't have shiny boots. Or buckles. Oh well.

Ohhhhhhhh, GOD I hurt!

need chiropractor.....or a friend with nothing else to do........

other than the fact that i can't actually move my neck from side to side [a.k.a. Batman Syndrome], I feel pretty damned productive.

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[25 Jan 2002|09:47pm]
[ mood | suicidal ]

cynical and sarcastic......so fucking perfectionist in your behaviors why can't you get a fucking hold on yourself you stupid bitch learn maybe you wouldn't be left alone and left behind maybe you could love or have love but no you're fucking worthless worthless worthless

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Home early... [23 Jan 2002|01:00pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

No seventh hour final for me today! So here I am, at home, on my computah. How nice. And I'm going to the fabric store later this afternoon to get some supplies to make Hannah's bag. Muahahaha....finally, a real client! Booyeah. And tomorrow Grandma and I will finish the bodice as far as we can, and work on the skirt [which I need to finish gathering.....hmmmm...should have done that last night during "Blow"...] and hopefully finish it. And then, I'll take the bodice to the cleaners and have it pressed, and then I'll add the grommets, and then I'll be done! And I need to order those gloves I found....yesss.....gloves. Opera-length black satin. God. Rachel is right-- we are going to be absolutely gorgeous. And yes, pictures will be posted. ;-)

I am not looking forward to my American Studies finals tomorrow and Friday. They are going to be hellish.

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[22 Jan 2002|07:42pm]
[ mood | focused ]

I regret saying I felt like Chris' whore. I don't know what I was thinking....very much my own personal irrational paranoia getting to me. Where do these ideas come from? And why do I keep telling myself over and over that they're right when they are very obviously not? After talking with Rose again, it finally came to me that I am not treating myself with the kindness I deserve. I am going to change that-- and more importantly, I am going to be straight with myself. I am going to be frank, honest, and realistic about what I am and what I am not.

I am a daughter, sister, best friend, friend, sometime girlfriend, confidant, source of support, student, writer, artist, actress, designer, unique, special, different, beautiful, childlike, mature, immature, adult, silly, serious, honest, kind, helpful, wonderful.

I am not unredeemable, self-loathing, dishonest, worthless, ugly, boring, burdensome, or ignored-- and most importantly, I am nobody's whore.

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[21 Jan 2002|07:36pm]
Fuck tact. Someone is going to get their ass stomped deep into the ground tomorrow.
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[21 Jan 2002|03:01pm]
[ mood | bored ]

I want to go do something....I haven't been downtown with people for a while.....hm.....maybe next weekend or something. And I want someone to have a party on Friday right after finals. We're all going to be nuts, so we'll need something to do....or we'll just need to be contained Or something... Gnyar.....

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[21 Jan 2002|12:41pm]
[ mood | happy ]

This song makes me utterly and intollerably happy. I'm bordering on giddy, and I'm only a minute into the song.

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[21 Jan 2002|12:26pm]
[ mood | content ]

Different group dynamics = tons more fun.

I am dysfunctional, yes, I know this, but because I know it I can fix it. Hah. And I'm so all over fixing my dysfunctional ways of having relationships with people, I surprise even myself.

But I can't say I'm not an idiot at times....Asked Chris if he had AIM, but didn't ask his screen name. ::bangs head on keyboard::

alsiffffffffffffy89pqw4ba.ilhf yg jgjk hvbhnlllsdddddddddddddddddddddd

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[20 Jan 2002|12:07pm]
[ mood | hardcore ]

Tonight is going to be fun. Period.

>blows out speakers on computer<

German industrial was meant to be loud.

;-)

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[18 Jan 2002|08:32pm]
N-- on Sunday, bring three one dollar bills, k?
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[18 Jan 2002|08:20pm]
Big things that I will get for my parties-- fog machine, strobe light. In that order.
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[17 Jan 2002|08:36pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

WAAAA HOOOOO!!!!

Grandma just left...we worked four solid hours on the bodice tonight!!! We got the lining done...all three layers-- actual lining fabric [same as outside fabric], muslin, and interfacing-- all put together and ready to have the outside put onto it. She and I are going to finish the bodice on Saturday because I want to show it off at the party. It fits so well!! I'm so pleased with it! The skirt's not done yet-- we haven't even worked on it together. What's done of the skirt at this point, is just stuff I've done on my own. I'm going to see if I can get it to come together such that the red sheer is parted in the front middle and exposes some of the black satin underneath, as Rachel suggested. I hadn't even thought of that....I hope I can get it to do that. It would be soooo awesome.

::beats AudioGalaxy in frustration::

"...AND THE CHORUS SWELLS!!!" [JtHM]

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[15 Jan 2002|08:26pm]
[ mood | volitile ]

i like the original version of this better.

i feel like i'm going to explode. lots of shit with no name all pent-up inside. i seriously feel like i want to go beat up someone. maybe alex. maybe myself. maybe some nameless, faceless stranger off the street. who cares.

rose says i'm too hard on myself. whore...she doesn't think so. i don't want to think so either. but i do at times. god damn.

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[15 Jan 2002|08:19pm]
[ mood | weary ]

i want to sleep....damned health project. i find myself reading about bipolar instead of borderline personality......screw my own personal knowledge, i have to finish this goddam packet. it's due tomorrow.......................

feelings of wanting to curl up into a ball with my teddy charlie-bear.

i wish someone would update so i'd have something constructive to read.
[mom was mad when she found the jthm comic. apparantly decided that it's the reason i "feel so crappy." way to minimize, mom. especially when you don't know what's in my head or in my heart. thanks for being so supportive of me. and you wonder why i don't talk about stuff with you more often. i wanted to yell "fuck you" at her in the car, but i didn't because she wouldn't let me go to the dance if i did. as it is, she called dad to send grandma home because i was too upset to sew. she probably thought i would stab myself with a needle. what does she know. i'm in bad shape.]

i miss my covenant cds. and i keep forgetting to ask rachel to remind siarde at troupes to get them back to me. i need those back....i miss them... i miss listening to my older orgy cd...i listened to it on the bus this morning.....i don't know why, but at camp, i can't sleep unless i fall asleep listening to it. i've tried listening to other stuff....and i'm up half the night until i get smart and put in "candyass."

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[15 Jan 2002|05:47pm]
tears on an empty stomach is a horrible thing.
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[14 Jan 2002|05:37pm]
[ mood | empty ]

Christ, Christ, Christ. I'm not good for anyone.

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[14 Jan 2002|05:26pm]
Drink me!
</a>
Which drink are you?
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